In The Words of Marvin Gaye: What's Going On!

In this ruling, the U.S. Supreme Court stated that slaves were not citizens of the United States and, therefore, could not expect any protection from the Federal Government or the courts. The opinion also stated that Congress had no authority to ban slavery from a Federal territory.

Activist jailed and beaten

Hamer became a SNCC field secretary in early 1963. A few months later, she attended a citizenship training school sponsored by the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC) in Charleston, South Carolina, to learn how to teach her neighbors about the benefits of citizenship. On the bus trip home in June, the bus made a rest stop in Winona, Mississippi. Annelle Ponder of SCLC, who was traveling with the group, said that three or four of the people went in to the café to be served. They sat at the counter but the waitress refused to serve them. A highway patrolman came from the rear of the café and tapped some of the group on the shoulder with his billy club, saying, “Y’all get out — get out.” Ponder reminded him it was against the law to refuse them service but he said, “Ain’t no damn law, you just get out of here!”
On the way back to the bus, Ponder wrote down the license number of the patrol car and at that, the patrolman and police chief came out of the restaurant and put the cafe group under arrest. As that was occurring, Hamer got off the bus to see whether the rest of the group should go on to Greenwood. The police chief arrested her as well. Later the police had two other black prisoners beat Hamer and 15-year-old June Johnson, who would not say “sir” to the men. In a trial later that year, an all-white jury acquitted the law officers. Hamer recalled, “After I got out of jail, half dead, I found that Medgar Evers had been shot down in his own yard.”

A Nassau Bay police officer has been suspended with pay after former astronaut Mae Jemison accused him of twisting her wrist and slamming her to the ground during a traffic stop.
The Chicago native, who in 1992 became the first black woman to fly in space, complained to Police Chief Robert Holden that Officer Henry Hughes III physically and emotionally mistreated her when she was arrested on a speeding warrant Saturday. 
The department said Hughes has been suspended with pay pending an investigation by the department's internal affairs division.
According to Jemison's complaint, Hughes stopped her for an illegal turn. After learning of an outstanding warrant for failing to pay a speeding ticket, the officer told Jemison she was under arrest.
Her attorney, Rusty Hardin, said Jemison threw down her car keys in disbelief. When the officer started to handcuff her, she reached down to pick up the keys.
"When she does that, he grabs her left hand, knocking her wallet and paper out of it, twists her wrist and throws her arms up behind her back" before throwing her down on the road, Hardin said.

On Tuesday, the arrest warrant for the incident was released, detailing state trooper Brian Encinia’s version of events.
According to the officer, Sandra  Bland — a 28-year old African American woman — was pulled over for failing to signal a lane change and he “had Bland exit the vehicle to further conduct a safe traffic investigation.”
“Force was used to subdue Sandra  Bland to the ground to which Bland continued to fight back,” he added.
Sandra Bland was charged with assault on a public servant then booked in the Waller County Jail, where she later died.

 

Let's Strive for Win/Win!

Isn't Common Sense Enough?

 We have all seen very successful people who didn’t appear to be very bright. Yet, when the window of opportunity opened up, they knew what to do. What do these people have that extremely intelligent people lack? Could it be common sense?

I know a number of people who have very high IQs. In fact, I know a gentleman who was classified as a genius at the age of four. When you speak to him, you know in less than five minutes that he is super smart. However, he appears to lack certain human relation skills. As a result, he is having a difficult time finding a job and is currently sleeping out of his car.

It seems, while intelligence is important to be successful, the ability to make things work is far more important. Perhaps it is because some highly intelligent people have a tendency to let everyone around them know they are the smartest person in the room. That kind of intimidation interferes with productivity. The smart person’s intelligence is used as a weapon, which results in many people licking their wounds after a conversation with them. In other cases, people are resentful and find a way to even the score.

On the other hand, there are people who have a propensity for creating a vision, enlisting others to support them and then create an environment that many people want to be part of. These people may not possess high IQs. They are the people who focus on workability. Furthermore, if these individuals are super smart, they develop the people around them. Instead of using their intelligence as a weapon, they may ask questions that will empower people to look at circumstances from a new perspective. They may even stretch people by asking them to accomplish goals that are over their head. Why? It creates coaching opportunities. In addition, when the person finally completes the task that was once too difficult, that person has increased their confidence, skills and competencies to take on something new.

Conversely, people who solely rely on being super smart managers rarely have the patience to coach someone up. They usually complete the goal themselves while thinking everyone around them is an idiot. As you can imagine, working with a very intelligent person who lacks people skills can be frustrating for everyone. So how do you deal with them?  Do we use their negative energy to empower us?

If done without maliciousness, straight talk can help eliminate the intelligent person’s dis-empowering behavior. You may have to say something like: ‘every time you speak to me that way I feel like I have no value to you. When I don’t feel valued, I am not motivated to work hard. If I am brutally honest with you, you just seem like a sore loser who wants to win at everyone’s expense. That’s unfortunate because you are so  smart. And I like working with smart people. I like you. It’s your pejorative remarks that are uncalled for.’ If I am not careful  with my words, will they think I am jealous?

While I understand it may take guts to speak directly to another person this way, at the same time, there are many cases when the best thing you can do is tell a person they are jerk. In all likelihood, no one has said it to them and they may have a false sense of security.  Am I to believe that  jerk s do not know they are jerks?

Relying solely on high intelligence can be limiting. The ability to make things work can be more valuable to create successful relationships, teams or organizations. When people work well together, it is a great feeling for everyone. However, to get there, it can be messy. If you are willing to take a stand for yourself and others without invalidating another, it can be a great tool for creating an empowering work environment.  Let's Strive for Win/Win!

Is having commons and using common sense enough?

What do you think? I’m open to ideas. Or if you want to write me about a specific topic, connect through my blog http://ask-ruby.blogspot.com/

May –December Love: What’s Age Got to Do with it?

Dear Ruby: I can’t seem to please my boyfriend. He brags about everybody else except me. I try so hard to do things the way he like them, cooking, cleaning, shopping and etc. He never takes me out in public with him. I admit I don’t dress up around the house, but I dress up when I go places. I have the hardest time getting him to introduce me to his friends. I still don’t know half his family. I am only 60 and he is 45. Do you think he is ashamed of me?

--Confused in Connecticut


Dear Confused in Connecticut:

You are in a May-December romance. There is some recent research which suggests they do not work. But whether they work or not, they are increasing. The British Broadcasting Company (BBC) carried a report recently saying, “The number of women dating/marrying younger men has soared in 25 years.” And according to the U.S. Census Bureau (most recent figures come from 1996) during the 1970 to 1989 period the number of older women dating/marrying younger men jumped by 10 percent when compared to the 1945 to 1964 period. However, the bad news is that when an older woman dates/marries a younger man, she may be shortening her life. A study published in the scientific journal Demography found that while older men dating/marrying younger women tend to live longer, women who dating/marry younger men actually lower their life expectancy. The study was conducted by Sven Drefahl of Germany’s Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research. What Drefhal found was that when there is a 7-to-9-year gap between the man and the woman, the woman reduced her life expectancy by 20 percent. Conversely, the man’s life expectancy increased by 11 percent. Drefahl theorizes women may die younger due to the stress of their dating/marrying a younger man still appears abnormal in society. A relationship with a big age difference can be a challenge, but it doesn't necessarily mean it's doomed. Studies show that the ups and downs of May-December romances—relationships in which one person is significantly older than the other and also as long as the age difference is not too large, a May-December romance is acceptable. For example, based on research, an age gap of five to 10 years is a suitable difference. A generation gap of 25 years or more, however, should be avoided. There's really no good reason to date someone that's 25 years different than you. Research shows May-December romances, age gaps are okay, but generation gaps are a really bad idea. Avoid the pitfall of ever equating youth as the soul ingredient of romance. So, my answer to you is no. He is not ashamed of you, he is ashamed of himself; however, I've often heard that love should be easy, and that even the hardships shouldn't feel so hard. I believe there's some truth to the Cinderella fairy tale—your partner should be like a shoe that fits perfectly, not one you have to force because you want to live in a castle and wear a tiara. More than anything, dating a man 15 years younger should teach you to keep your eye on the essentials: Does it feel right? Is he kind? Do I love him? Does he love me? If the answers are yes, then nothing else really matters.

Boyfriend for Seven Years

Dear Ruby:  I’ve been dating my boyfriend for seven years.  We text each other all day, we talk on the phone all night, and we spend every weekend together.  He says he loves me, and I know I love him, but he never talks to me about marriage.  Do you think he’s dating me just for what he can get?

--Latonya in Illinois

Dear Latonya in Illinois:  I don’t know.  What is he getting? Most men only marry women they truly love and respect; and women who they feel loved and respected them. Research shows, men only marry women who require them to marry them and have demonstrated an expectation to be marriage.