Wednesday, April 25, 2012

There is no such thing as low self-esteem!

Could I have low self-esteem?

Dear Ruby
I look in the mirror, what do I see? I see someone who is tired, someone who is barely making ends meet living paycheck to paycheck, someone who is praying for a better tomorrow. I feel like a failure and others see me in this manner as well.  I want to feel great about myself then others will think I am great also.  I have all of the latest fashion, shoes, purses, hair, lashes, nails, and I feel empty.  What am I experiencing? What am I going through? Why is this happening to me? Do you think I may have a low self-esteem?
-- I Feel Empty in Newark, NJ
Dear I Feel Empty:
This is no such thing as low self-esteem.  Since the world has given credence to a word that has no meaning.  The words that have true meaning are the lack of confidence and an inferiority complex.   Your confidence is the "value" you put on yourself.  You have  acquired an inferiority complex and lack of confidence, here are some of the causes of both:  Being criticized; not receiving affection, encouragement, and support; Being or having been teased, ridiculed, punished, shamed, ignored, compared unfavorably, threatened, abandoned, rejected, or victimized; Being compared to others; and being continually reminded of your past or your future.
Take a look at the type of friends you attract - they are your mirror. Do they all have problems, or are they successfully happy people.  Remember the Law of Attraction works for negatives as well as positives. Just as happy successful people attract happy successful people, people with unresolved problems attract people with unresolved problems.
Here are a few tips and ideas to help you overcome both an inferiority complex and lack of confidence:
1.      Despite any imperfections you may have, you must love yourself. How can you ever feel great and full of life to anyone else, if you have no love for yourself? This is possibly the most important factor in overcoming an inferiority complex and lack of confidence. Love who you are.
2.      Look at yourself in the mirror. No, not your appearance but deeper. Look into your eyes. Your eyes tell a story. Your eyes are the windows into our souls. Your appearance is just the surface, but your soul is "who" you are. Get to know yourself all over again. Take pride in yourself and in all you do. Always feel good about who you are. Keep in mind you may go through hardships in you life but the way you choose to deal with your hardships is what makes or breaks you.
3.      Accept what you can control in your life. You must create your future by effort. No one can do it for you. Unfortunately, most people are looking for instant this, instant that, instant success and instant cash. Well, in the world today the only thing you can get instantly is failure. If you are not willing to work for your success, so what do you do? You give up and why? Because it is so much easier to fail than to succeed.  You have to take back the control of the life you deserve because you can achieve as much success as you want. You just have to believe that you deserve it.
4.      You are what is important here. Often without meaning to, your friends and family will handicap you with their opinions. You are not here to please the world; family; or friends.   You are here to please yourself. What others think of you is unimportant, but what you think of yourself is. You have a mind of your own; however seeking wisdom from your elders or someone who really cares about you is good, but randomly seeking others opinions should be done with caution.  So from now on you do what makes you happy and pleases you without seeking to hurt or destroy other people lives.
5.      Self Confidence needs to be cultivated - this is why the concept of personal development is so important - the basis of improving your own Self Awareness is you helping you.  Every time you achieve a goal, every time you overcome a fear or phobia and every time you choose a positive over a negative – you will feel good because you are improving your self confidence. Remember "Nothing succeeds like success” and that's the feeling you want to cultivate.
Now that you have a few tips about how to overcome an inferiority complex and lack of confidence: Lets talk about self confidence meaning, feeling good about yourself, not just when you have been praised for something, but all the time.  You are worthy of getting the most you can out of life, to be the best you can. So, the goal is to open the flow of success and abundance in your life by developing high Self Confidence, which means:   This is the way you talk to yourself about yourself. I Believe in Myself; I have Self Respect; I have Personal Worth; I have a Sense of Purpose; I have a Sense of Belonging; I have Self Confidence; and I have a positive Self Image.
Eleanor Roosevelt said it best: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Now go conquer the world, it is waiting for you!