How
old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? Just think about that
for a moment. It’s an intriguing question.
How does your age affect the way you
behave, what you do and what you don’t do? How often do we give in to societies
– or the media’s – idea of what “old” is?
What if we could lose our preoccupation with age—just put it out
of our minds? What if – instead of being preoccupied with aging – we
focused more on living? Would we behave any differently? Would we treat
other people any differently? Would we be happier and enjoy life more?
Studies show the life people aspire to as they
age – self-sufficient, active, participating in leisure activities and building
closer relationships with family and friends – contrasts sharply with their
understanding of aging as a process of deterioration, dependency, reduced
potential, digital incompetence and family members living at a distance. “These
deep and negative shared understandings make the process of aging something to
be dreaded and fought against, rather than embraced as a process that brings new
opportunities and challenges for individuals and society.”
We have to change this. We have to “disrupt aging”! The first step is to “own your
age.” I’m not talking about just accepting your age. I mean really own it:
embrace it, feel good about where you are in life, and more importantly, about
where you are going.
People turning 50 today have half of
their adult lives ahead of them. They don’t want to be defined by how old they
are – they want to be valued for who they are. They don’t want to live in fear
that their possibilities
become more limited as they age. They believe their life experience has value.
They still want to make a difference in the world.
Yet our perceptions – as individuals
and collectively as a society – are simply out of sync with the new reality of
aging. The negative stereotypes of aging are so ingrained in our psyches, they
are difficult to overcome. Most of us don’t even try. We either just accept the
old stereotypes and live out the negative image of aging – or, we just deny
that we are aging and fight it with every fiber of our being, and in some
cases, with every dollar in our bank account.
We not only live in an aging
society, we live in an “ageist” society. Today it is socially unacceptable to
ignore, ridicule or stereotype someone based on their gender, race or sexual
orientation. So why is it still acceptable to do this to people based on their
age? Perhaps the bigger question is, why does this matter? It matters primarily
for two reasons:
First, ageism – and the negative
perception of aging it perpetuates – creates a negative reality of aging. And,
as long as that exists, we will never face up to the changes we need to make to
adapt to our aging society.
Second, it’s bad enough that ageism
can influence public policy, employment practices and how people are treated
in society, but what’s worse is that we accept the ageist behavior ourselves
and start acting it out.
It isn’t age that holds us back. In
fact, age may not be a barrier at all.
The point is that every day, older
people are forced to navigate an environment that was designed neither by them
nor for them. We often blame our limitations on the fact that we’re getting older. But in reality, it may simply be
that our environment doesn’t fit us anymore, or the product isn’t designed to
fit our needs.
Once we muster the courage to admit
that and do something about it – like adapting the car seat to meet the needs
of the 75-year-old instead of blaming the person – we can begin to develop
creative solutions that benefit people of all ages.
That’s disrupting aging. That’s what
happens when we own our age
